Talk to the Hand

Wyclef Jean was shot in the hand yesterday, in what police are calling, “a clear attempt to get him to stop writing terrible music.”

The shooting occurred in Jean’s homeland of Haiti, and police quickly apprehended the suspect.  After a brief interrogation, the man’s motive became clear.

“This was no assassination plot,” said Port-au-Prince Police Chief Mario Andresol.  “The guy just hated Wyclef’s blasé, commercialized reggae.”