With ‘Shark Week’ Over, No One Gives a Sh*t About Discovery Channel Anymore

According to the latest Nielsen ratings, Americans have lost all interest in educational television now that Shark Week is over.

“If I ain’t seein’ folks eaten by them big fish, I’m back to watching NASCAR,” explained toothless yokel Ryan Zboril. “If I wanted to learn, I’d read me a book.”

The Discovery Channel has seen a 94% drop in ratings since Shark Week ended last weekend, and competitors are having a hard time ignoring those numbers.

National Geographic Channel CEO Martin Newman held a press conference this morning to announce Shark Year will be coming soon to his useless network.