Andy Rooney Leaving ’60 Minutes’ to Complete Bucket List

Andy Rooney will deliver his 1,097th and final essay on this Sunday’s broadcast of 60 Minutes, to the dismay of millions tens of fans.

The 92-year old troll announced he’ll retire at the end of the program to go backpacking across Europe, something he’s always wanted to do but never had the time.

After a brief stop in Munich for Oktoberfest, Rooney plans to purchase a Eurail Pass and head to Amsterdam, Paris and Prague.

“I just wanted to get this crap out of the way while I’m still young,” muttered Rooney. “I’m just hoping Europe isn’t too loud or crowded.”