Anderson Cooper Exposed!

Could CNN reporter Anderson Cooper really get any more super?

Reports are circulating that the silver-haired host of AC360 was exposed to excessive radiation while doing his show live from a Japanese nuclear plant back in March.  Fukushima Daiichi, the site of two recent explosions, was emitting radiating levels at over 300x normal at the time, and Cooper is starting to feel the effects.

“He’s getting special powers, kind of like what happened to Spider Man,” explained Dr. Yaguchi Garcazi.  “Only instead of being able to shoot webs, he has the ability to pretend he’s attracted to women.”